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3 Minutes Read

How to Handle Feeling Triggered During Sex

After sexual assault, the memory of what happened can linger long past when the incident occurred. Painful and frightening feelings can resurfaces at times that are unexpected, or inconvenient, like when you’re having sex.


Learning how to navigate triggers can empower you to enjoy your sexuality and connect more with your partner. Here’s some guidance on how to start that process.

Talk to your partner in advance

Communicate with your partner about your needs and desires in a neutral setting, before things start to get sexy. Let them know any activities or body areas that are triggering for you. For example, if you don’t like your face to be touched, or if you’re uncomfortable having sex after drinking alcohol.


Make sure to also give space to conversation about what you actually do enjoy sexually, and what you’re enthusiastic about doing together. This will help direct sex toward a place of pleasure, instead of avoidance of triggers becoming the primary objective.

Go slow

Take your time having sex - don’t rush getting in the mood or taking things further right away. This will help you practice being mindful of the sensations and emotions you’re experiencing, and feel comfortable continuing if you’re feeling good or pausing if some difficult feelings are coming up.


Ask your partner to join you in using explicit consent. It might sound cheesy, but having the opportunity to literally say yes or no to questions like “can I kiss you?” and “can I take this off?” can help you feel more empowered to direct where your sexual experience goes.

Stop when you need to stop

If you notice yourself tensing, freezing up, or feeling like you’re floating away from your body, your body is probably trying to signal to you that you need to stop. Take a pause from sex, either by telling your partner verbally or using an action or a sign to indicate pause that you discussed in advance.


Use the practices you need to soothe your body’s trigger responses. This could mean receiving caring non-sexual touch from your partner, stretching and moving around, breathing practices, aromatherapy, or enjoying a warm shower. As you begin to feel better, assess whether you’d like to resume having sex or call it a night. Know that whatever you choose is perfectly OK.

Be gentle with yourself

You’re healing - and I know it can be hard to hear this, but healing takes as long as it takes. Practice acceptance of this process and releasing yourself from the expectation to feel totally fine right away.


Criticizing yourself for struggling is not going to help; it’s just kicking yourself when you’re down. It diverts valuable mental and emotional resources away from working through your challenges, and uses them to reinforce unhelpful messages instead.


It’s OK to acknowledge that working through trauma is frustrating, or that a sexual encounter that didn’t turn out like you hoped is disappointing. But throughout it all, remember that these experiences do not define you, and you deserve care and support throughout them all.

Getting more support

You don’t have to go through navigating trauma alone. Therapy is an important tool you can use to process what happened, and work on moving forward. I’m ready to help — click the button below to set up a free phone consultation. 


Click To Book A Free Consultation


Trauma Relationships

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12.31.2025

Recognizing & Healing Religious Trauma Without Losing Faith

Did you know that many people silently struggle with the profound impact of religious trauma, yet fewer than half seek specialized support to heal? Religious trauma is a complex mental health challenge that intertwines deeply held religious beliefs with experiences of religious abuse, spiritual abuse, and control. This guide explores how you can recognize religious trauma, understand its impacts, and embark on a path to healing—all while honoring your ongoing faith or spirituality.What You'll LearnHow to identify signs and effects of religious traumaEffective therapeutic approaches to support healingWays to maintain spirituality while recoveringWhat questions to ask when choosing a trauma-informed therapistStartling Facts About Religious Trauma and Its Impact on Mental HealthReligious trauma affects thousands of individuals each year, often concealed behind the guise of religious belief, religious teachings, and community norms. When faith becomes a vehicle for control or emotional harm, the impact on mental health can be profound. Symptoms often include anxiety, depression, feelings of guilt and shame, and even disconnection from one’s own identity.Understanding the effects of religious trauma is essential for anyone navigating the healing process and recovery from religious trauma. People may feel trapped between their spiritual beliefs and the emotional pain caused by religious environments. Effective healing addresses both the psychological wounds and the sensitivity needed to respect one’s faith journey.Understanding Religious Trauma: Definition and Key CharacteristicsTeresa, of Salt River Therapy, explains, "A key theme in religious trauma is the theme of control. While religion can offer connection to spirituality, religious trauma often involves undue influence or control exerted in the name of faith."Signs and Symptoms of Religious TraumaRecognizing religious trauma begins with understanding its signs. Individuals may experience intense internal conflict, fear of divine punishment, and a persistent feeling that their true self is unacceptable within their religious community. Other common symptoms include hypervigilance, emotional numbness, and difficulty trusting others, especially within faith circles.Therapy can help you identify these symptoms and understand how deeply they are tied to your experienced religious trauma, spiritual abuse, and religious abuse. This awareness paves the way to healing from religious trauma by separating harmful control from authentic spirituality.Effects of Religious Trauma on Mental Health and RelationshipsThe Cycle of Religious Abuse and Its Long-Term ImpactReligious trauma and religious abuse often follow a damaging cycle of control, manipulation, and emotional harm. This cycle can erode self-esteem and damage relationships both inside and outside religious contexts. Individuals may struggle to form boundaries, fear rejection, or feel perpetually guilty, affecting their personal and social lives deeply.Understanding this cycle is cruitical for breaking free. Therapeutic support works to interrupt this pattern, fostering emotional resilience and healthier relationships.Healing from Religious Trauma: Approaches and Therapeutic SupportTeresa emphasizes, "Healing from religious trauma does not necessarily mean disconnecting from faith. It’s about discovering an authentic relationship with spirituality that feels safe and true to you."Building Safety and Trust in Therapy for Religious Trauma HealingCreating a safe, trustworthy therapeutic environment is fundamental to religious trauma healing. Teresa Thompson, LCSW, of Salt River Therapy, notes that therapists cultivate consistency, authenticity, and attunement to client needs to rebuild this trust. Therapy focuses on naming emotional experiences and bodily reactions, helping clients reconnect with themselves after disconnecting due to prior trauma.This process supports clients so they can explore feelings at their own pace and reclaim spiritual identity without fear or manipulation, which is key to long-term healing.Navigating Religious Beliefs During the Healing ProcessSupport Groups and Community Resources for Healing from Religious TraumaAlongside therapy, support groups and community support play a vital role in the healing process from religious trauma and spiritual abuse. Support groups provide a safe space to share experiences, gain validation, and hear diverse perspectives on maintaining religious beliefs and spirituality while healing. These groups often serve as a bridge toward rebuilding beliefs authentically, free from harmful influences.Many support groups are led by individuals who have experienced religious trauma themselves and understand the delicacy of preserving spiritual identity during the healing journey.Common Misconceptions About Religious Trauma and Its TreatmentThere are widespread misunderstandings about religious trauma healing. One is the idea that healing means rejecting religion entirely. Teresa Thompson, LCSW, clarifies, "Healing from complex trauma is not about going back to how things were. It’s about moving forward into something new and unknown." This forward movement allows individuals to create a spirituality that nurtures instead of harms.Another misconception is that simply educating someone about their trauma is sufficient. In reality, healing is multifaceted and requires developing new ways of relating to oneself and the world.What to Look for in a Therapist Specializing in Religious Trauma HealingChoosing the right therapist specializing in religious trauma healing is vital for effective recovery, mental health support, and navigating the healing process. Look for practitioners trained in evidence-based methods like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which Teresa Thompson recommends. Inquire about their approach to trauma beyond symptom management, emphasizing how they support clients in reshaping their lives and spirituality.Red flags include therapists who minimize your experiences or attempt to direct your religious beliefs rather than honor your healing journey. The best practitioners balance empathy with skill to offer complex trauma healing that fits your unique needs.FAQs: People Also Ask About Religious Trauma HealingHow do you recover from religious trauma?Recovery from religious trauma often starts with rebuilding a sense of safety, both internally and in your day-to-day life. That can mean creating distance from people, environments, or messaging that triggers fear, shame, or panic, and replacing those inputs with grounding routines, supportive relationships, and language that feels respectful and real. Many people also benefit from naming what happened, especially when the harm involved spiritual abuse or religious abuse, because so much of religious trauma is wrapped in confusion, self-doubt, and the feeling that you were the problem.From there, recovery usually includes processing the harmful experiences at a pace that feels manageable. That might involve working through fear-based beliefs, unpacking shame, grieving losses (community, identity, certainty), and rebuilding trust in your own instincts. For some people, healing includes reconnecting with spirituality on their own terms. For others, it means letting go of religion entirely and finding meaning, values, and belonging elsewhere. Professional support can be especially helpful, because religious trauma often impacts identity, nervous system regulation, and relationships in ways that are hard to untangle alone.What is the hardest trauma to recover from?There isn’t a single “hardest” trauma for everyone, because what makes something difficult to recover from depends on factors like how long it lasted, whether it happened in childhood, whether betrayal was involved, and how much support you have now. 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Coercion is when someone’s choices are narrowed through fear, guilt, or manipulation, so the person complies to stay safe, stay connected, or avoid punishment. Cruelty can include emotional harm, humiliation, harsh judgment, rejection, or treatment that communicates you are bad, unworthy, or beyond help.In religious contexts, these dynamics can be especially damaging because they’re often framed as virtue, obedience, or “love.” That framing can make it harder to recognize the harm, harder to trust yourself, and harder to leave. Naming these patterns can be a turning point, because it helps people understand that what they experienced wasn’t just “strictness” or “discipline,” it was a system that used fear and power to shape behavior and identity.What qualifies as religious trauma?Religious trauma generally refers to experiences of manipulation, control, or emotional harm that happen under the guise of religious doctrine, authority, or spiritual “truth.” This can include fear-based teachings that create chronic anxiety, shame-based messaging that attacks your identity or normal human needs, and environments where questioning is punished or treated as moral failure. It can also include spiritual abuse, where leaders or communities misuse religious authority to dominate, silence, or exploit others.What often distinguishes religious trauma is that the harm isn’t only about specific events, it’s also about the internal impact. People may struggle with persistent guilt, fear of punishment, difficulty trusting themselves, and grief around community loss or identity confusion. If the religion or community shaped your sense of safety, worth, or reality in a way that left you feeling trapped, ashamed, or afraid long after the fact, that experience can qualify as religious trauma.Key Takeaways: Essential Insights on Religious Trauma HealingTopicKey InsightDefinition of Religious TraumaInvolves control and manipulation within religious contexts affecting identity and mental health.Healing ProcessRequires building safety, trust, and authentic spirituality.Therapeutic ApproachesIntegration of empathy and evidence-based practices is critical.MisconceptionsHealing is forward-moving, not a return to previous states.Embracing Healing Without Losing FaithStart building a safe, authentic spiritual connection today by seeking specialized therapeutic support tailored for healing from religious trauma, spiritual abuse, and religious abuse.Take the Next Step in Your Religious Trauma Healing JourneyReady to begin your healing journey with expert guidance? Click the button below to Book a Free Consultation with Teresa Thompson, LCSW or one of the other skilled therapists at Salt River Therapy, offering telehealth and in-person sessions in Brooklyn, NYC, and throughout New York State.

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