How Do I Know If I Want to Have Kids? 

Bringing a child into the world is arguably one of the most profound decisions one can make in life. It's a decision that requires careful consideration, self-reflection, and a deep understanding of one's own desires, values, and circumstances. Figuring out how you authentically feel about possibly becoming a parent is also complicated by societal pressures and narratives about who should (and who shouldn’t) have children. For these reasons, the question of whether or not to have children looms large, often accompanied by a mix of emotions, doubts, and uncertainties. So, how do you know if you want to have kids?

Reflect on your values and goals

Take some time to reflect on what matters most to you in life. Consider your values, aspirations, and long-term goals. How do you envision your future? How would children fit in as part of that vision? Consider whether parenthood aligns with what you want to do with your life, and whether you feel ready to take on the responsibilities that come with raising a child.

Assess your readiness

Parenthood is a significant commitment that requires emotional, physical, and financial readiness. Reflect on whether you feel emotionally prepared to nurture and care for a child. Are you ready to prioritize someone else's needs alongside your own? Consider your physical health and stamina, as raising a child can be physically demanding — they may not want to take a nap, but you definitely will. Additionally, assess your financial situation and whether you feel financially stable enough to support a child.

Consider your relationships

If you're in a committed relationship, it's important to have open and honest discussions with your partner about your feelings and desires regarding children. Do you both share similar views on parenthood? Are you both ready to take on the responsibilities of raising a child? How do you anticipate having children might impact your relationship? Whether you are partnered or not, think through who are the important friends and family members in your life that can support you as you navigate the challenges of parenthood.

Think about your lifestyle

Parenthood inevitably brings about significant changes to your lifestyle. Consider how having children might impact your career, social life, hobbies, and personal freedom. Are you prepared to make the necessary adjustments and sacrifices? Reflect on whether you feel ready to embrace the changes that parenthood will bring and whether you're excited about the prospect of building a nuclear family.

Listen to your instincts

Ultimately, the decision to have children is a deeply personal one. Listen to your instincts and trust your intuition. Pay attention to how you feel when you imagine yourself as a parent. Do you feel a sense of excitement, joy, and fulfillment? Or do you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or uncertain? Your feelings can provide valuable insights into whether parenthood is right for you at this moment in your life.

Seek support and guidance

If you're still unsure about whether you want to have children, consider talking through your thoughts and feelings with a therapist. This can help you clarify your feelings and provide the perspective to move forward (or not). Our clinicians at Salt River Therapy are here to help — just click the button below to schedule a free phone consultation.