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At certain times in life, it can be really beneficial to make new friends. Moving to a new city may require you to build a new support network. Outgrowing old friendships due to changing interests and values may propel you to branch out. Going through a messy breakup with a partner where the two of you shared many friends may mean making some new ones is a necessity.
But making new friends as an adult is not easy compared to circumstances often found in school and college, where you spend large amounts of time with your peers every day. If you’ve found making friends as an adult challenging, here are some tips that can help show you the way.
Put yourself out there
It may seem obvious, but making new friends takes active work. You have to be open to meeting new people and making an effort to get to know them. Having a positive and upbeat attitude will send the message to others that you are interested and available to connect with them. Being your authentic self, although it can feel scary and vulnerable, will attract like-minded people to want to engage with you.
Spend time doing things you enjoy
Check out events in your area that you think will be fun, join clubs or groups on topics you find interesting, or volunteer for a cause you feel passionate about. You’ll be more likely to find people you click with, since they’ll be there because they enjoy those activities too.
Practice good conversation skills
People are more likely to want to be friends with someone who takes the time to listen to them and who they feel comfortable talking to. Be genuinely curious about what people have to say, and ask follow up questions when a topic has piqued your interest. Make sure that you share and contribute to the conversation as well — tell your favorite anecdotes and divulge some details that will help people get to know you.
Keep healthy boundaries
Think about the pace at which you want to get closer to a new friend— beware of making plans or promises that are too big too soon. Make sure you have a sense of how and in what ways you’re available to show up for a new friend, and what you aren’t able to provide.
Making new friends as an adult takes time and effort, but it's definitely worth it. We need the companionship, support, and laughter that friendships provide. If you’ve struggled with making friends, therapy might help you explore the reasons why. We’re ready to help — click the button below to schedule a free phone consultation.
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